I just finished reading A Woman is no Man and I think describing it will be challenging. When my coworker lent me the book, she promised I would cry and she was more than right.
“Listen to me daughter. No matter how far away from Palestine you go, a woman will always be a woman. Here or there. Location will not change her naseeb, her destiny” … “but you must always remember. There is nothing out there for a woman but her bayt wa dar, her house and home. Marriage, motherhood – that is a woman’s only worth”
A woman is no man pg. 11
Such words were a mother’s advise to Isra, a young Palestinian girl embarking into an arranged marriage to leave her country to America. With those expressions alone, one can understand the complexity of a culture in which women are treated unequally and discriminatory. This is not my first approach to middle eastern culture-based books, (A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini is a great example as well) but it was shockingly disturbing to see the abuses that women are submitted to based only on their gender.
What is more shocking to me, is that while reading the novel I started searching up a little bit about the author and found a post on her Instagram account about a girl who shared her name with the book’s main character and whose destiny was the same. It really hurts to see that still in our days thousands of women’s suffering remain unknown within the walls of their homes, in the hands of their husbands, fathers, brothers and even brothers in law as it every man had the right to decide what is right and wrong and punish them for what’s opposed to them. I do not want to spoil the ending for whoever reading the novel, so I won’t say much. However, I will say the book made me realized how denigrated the middle eastern woman is.
Although Islam prophet Muhammad said Heaven lies beneath the feet of mothers, the women are often treated as only childbearing worthy, with no say in their homes decisions and with duties assigned from birth just because of their gender. I do not want to criticize the culture or the religion, it is not my intention. But it hurts me as a woman, and I have a different perspective now towards women who suffer so much in the name of the culture they’re born in.
On the other hand, I must say the book was beautifully narrated, simple and detailed at once. This is the debut novel of Etaf Rum, a Palestinian descendant herself who grew up in Brooklyn in the same neighborhood where the book’s plot takes place. The novel itself as per the author does not have the intention to betray her own culture and community but to serve as a voice for the women who cannot speak. This novel is very recommended as an eye opening experience with a great message of standing up for what one believes is right, fighting to build oneself destiny instead of letting others do it; it is a great approach to respect even more the women of the world, especially those of oppressive cultures.
Images above are part of the article I’m not his property published in AbcNews